To kill the beast, you have to cut it off at the head..

I did it. I confronted it today. My fear.. and all of my pain. I said the things I had to say. I guess there will never be enough words to say it all. Maybe on some level this was the first step to the forgiveness I so desperately need to find. Maybe it only gave me peace of mind for today.. but I guess today is all that matters, right?

I went and saw "My Week With Marilyn" today with my Sessie. This is officially the 2nd time I've tried to see it with her because the last time we went it wasn't playing yet.. anxious much? Lol. I loved it. I loved everything about it. Maybe it's just because I'm a Marilyn Monroe freak but I thought it was amazing. It was clever, and charming and.. sexy (but not explicit) and honest. I'd go and watch it again right now if I could. They're only playing it at Broadway, but if you get the chance go see it.

I just got done recording "Stupid Boy" And am getting ready to throw it up on Youtube. I didn't turn out exactly like I'd hoped. I was so nervous to sing it for some reason. I'm not very good at this whole guitar thing yet. I'm trying.. I guess if nothing else it's conquering a fear of mine. It's not easy for me to put myself out there. It isn't easy for me to put myself in a place to be judged or to feel vulnerable. So this is a huge step for me. I tend to take in negative reactions and hold on to them... and just be hurt by them rather than learning from them.. Like me singing a song badly is the end of the world. Well.. shield off, it's on Youtube for the whole world to see lol. If you get the chance check it out.. and be gentle :)

I hope you all have an amazing night.. and a safe weekend. Happy Holidays!!