With love, Courtney Love ~

Today started out awful. Nothing wanted to work for me. Not even my body...

At one point I thought just rolling out of bed onto the floor would be a more successful option. I laid there for a good 30 minutes listening to my alarm clock go off every 5 minutes trying to convince myself to just get out of bed. I debated calling in to work.. I knew that at any rate I was already late.. because well.. I was still in bed and I promise it took a mini miracle today to even pull off half decent... and I was well aware of that before the day even got started.

My bed head was something to be left only to the imagination. And no matter how much I attempted to flat iron it and spray it the hell into submission, I still came out looking like Courtney Love on a cracked out day.... which I guess is ok if you're into all that. Me?? I just wanted coffee and lots of it.

There comes a point in every woman's life when you've neglected your laundry for so long that you fall into a predicament with 2 options. (Neither of them appealing.)

Granny panties or commando.

Today I found myself in said situation. I would have worn sweats to work if I thought I could pull it off..

and don't lie girls... I know in the back of every one of your drawers there's the "comfortable pair" of full coverage g r a n n y p a n t i e s. Why? I don't know. I do know however that I'm not the only one .... all of them just so cleverly designed with some sort of star, or stripe, or awful flower print. My word of advice.....???? Anything that can be bought in a pack of 3 or more should not be purchased. E v e r!!!!!!

EVER!!

Back away slowly. BUT when your laundry pile is taller than you and you're already late for your seemingly awful day....

Stars it is... and don't wear anything too tight ;)

I've heard it said that you can tell the kind of day you're going to have by the underwear you wear that day. Well.... turns out that's effing true!! Who knew??

It started with granny panties and ended up equally awful.

SO once I do some laundry tonight I'm setting the cotton .... "I don't ever want a boyfriend again.... EVER" panties on fire. ;)

To my little world.

Sunday is my absolute favorite day of the week because I get to spend the entire day with my little monkey man. I don't clean anything.. I don't do laundry.. I don't stress (for the most part) we just go on our adventures. Normally, just me and him... no interruptions.

Today was beautiful outside. We started the day by shopping. I bought him some bigger clothes. That's one of the most amazing things about kids. They never, ever stop growing. Already... everything that I bought him at Christmas is already either on the verge of being too small, or it's already too small.

We bought bigger boy underwear.. for being a 3 1/2 year old.. the tidy whities were simply not cutting it anymore. Let's just say he needed a little more coverage in the underwear department. He is SO pissed off that his new boxer briefs aren't covered in his favorite super heroes. But, because wolverine wasn't covering much of anything these days, we had to upgrade to something a little more "big boy"... so hopefully he'll forgive me soon.

We played at the park today. Our favorite park. We climbed the chain wall. We hung on the monkey bars. We raced. We fell down. We laughed. We swung on the swings. I even decided to make the swing go as high as I possibly could... then launched myself off of it. Great example for an almost 4 year old that isn't scared of absolutely anything... (ooops) Well.. I was just happy I landed and didn't break anything. We laughed more...

We got lunch. We played soccer. We danced for absolutely no reason at all...

We went to the movies. We got popcorn. Candy. Drinks.

This was only the 2nd movie he's ever gone to in the theater. We saw "We Bought A Zoo". I think it was a little bit mature for him, but he still loved it. We snuggled. We ate junk food.. it was perfect.

Someone I know said something the other day that really struck a cord with me. She said:

"You never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory".

That was life changing for me.

You can't anticipate life. You have no idea what it will bring, or when it will end. I feel like the most blessed mommy in the whole world because I have the most perfect little boy in the whole world.

It seems sort of selfish but he's my everything. Sometimes it's hard that it's just me and him... but I think it's sometimes more beautiful that way too. He gives me a new reason every day to love. He gives me a new reason every day to fight.

Thanks for the best day ever Monkey.. Always remember, mommy loves you.

I don't know what to name it.. so it shall stay nameless

I haven't written anything in a few days because.. well my last blog went over like a damn...

epidemic.

Apparently not only should I not write when I'm overly emotional.... but I guess I should make it very clear what I'm talking about because I hurt the feelings of the last person in the world I ever wanted to... and the feelings of a few other people I never intended to take it personally.

So... to clear things up, I've deleted that and will be choosing my words from now on very wisely.

Life has funny timing. I know I've said it before but it seems like when I think it can't get anymore ironic, it does. And it seems to do so with vengeance.

For no particular reason (lord knows I won't share details anymore) I walked into Paradise bakery in the pursuit of finding something completely and utterly unhealthy for me.

I walked up to the counter, working desperately to keep the tears from running down my face and asked the poor unsuspecting girl if they made any of their cookies gluten free..

Paradise girl: "What's gluten?"

Me: "So I'm going to assume that's a no"

Paradise girl screams to the other paradise girl: "This lady doesn't want to eat gluten. Do YOU know what that is?!?"

Mortified that most everyone in the bakery is now looking at me....

Me: "It's ok really..... "

2nd paradise girl: "What can I help you with sweetie?"

** Side Note **I hate it when anyone calls me "sweetie".. "hun".. "babe".. when I don't actually know them. I am not your "sweetie".. I'm about to fall apart in the middle of your bakery. That's going to be a hot mess... I just want a cookie!!

Me: "I was just wondering if you made any of your cookies gluten free?"

2nd Paradise girl: "No Hun.. I'm sorry. We don't."

Me: "Ok I'll just take one of those. (Pointing at the sugar cookie with m&m's)

2nd Paradise girl: "Yeah see we don't make any of these gluten free.. not even that one."

**Side note ** I am literally going to Ninja my A** over this counter and kick yours for a gluten FULL cookie!!!

Me: "Ok "Sweetie" but can I have one of those??" (Pointing at the sugar cookie with m&m's)

2nd Paradise girl: "You do get that that has gluten, right??"

Me: "Yeah so if I could just get one of those that would be great."

2nd Paradise girl: "But that's not gluten free."

Me: "Ok so then I'll just take one... "

2nd Paradise girl literally picked that cookie up like she was about to hand me anthrax.

So........ I said "And I'll take one of those, and one of those, too.................. Thanks!"

I made it all the way to the car before completely falling apart.

The good news is, the cookies were delicious. The bad news is I haven't had hives or a stomach ache like this in weeks. My pride would have to get in the way of being responsible and say... not eating 3 cookies I knew I would completely pay for. Whatever. I had a point to prove. She wasn't going to tell me what not to eat..... Paradise cookies: 1 Me.... Well they were yummy so whatever.

Anyway... things I've learned today: Life can be a crazy ride. I hope that somewhere in all of this I'm becoming stronger and better for it. I hope. I hope I've grown up a little bit.. I hope I've become a better person. I hope that all the pain, tears... even all the smiles are all for something. I want to believe they are.

Much Love