Walk the line....

I think I can probably sleep when I'm dead. It seems like there's always someone.. or something pulling me a different direction than I was already traveling. The good news about feeling like there's no time to sleep... and no time to breath is that I'm still alive.

I woke up today and it was Halloween. Can I just say thank the good lord that this blessed holiday has almost come to an end... for yet another year. I feel like it's been Halloween for 3 weeks. There's been absolutely amazing and absolutely insane parties. Junk food... dressing up like an idiot..... pumpkin carving (which I'd like to mention I absolutely hate) baking... more baking..... followed by.....

baking.

Tonight I'm taking my little man out to fill his little tummy with candy... and his heart with happy :) I'm pretty excited. If there's one thing in my life that stays constant.... it's his perfect little self. He's everything in my world... and when it all goes pear shaped he knows just how to smile to make me realize that that's all that matters... and all that will ever matter.

On a lighter note...  Men in my life... and those who may potentially find themselves in my life....

Women pluck, shave, wax, tan, whiten their teeth, spend insane amounts of money on gels, cremes, lotions..... powders...

We get laser hair removal... fake boobs... fake eyelashes... fake hair..... botox... injections..

We get our nails done.... the manicures... the pedicures... the facials.....

Buy almost every beauty product promoted in Vogue that will undoubtedly make us look EXACTLY like Heidi Klum....

We edit every single picture on our Facebook before posting it..... and are mortified by all the one's we're "tagged" in eating a hamburger in the background.  *****Caught with for mouth open?!? Right...... you told him you were a vegetarian!!!!!!!*****

We all... at some point in our life have gone on one.... (haha) or multiple crash diets to fit in to some damn dress we with all certainly probably bought a size to small hoping we could Crisco our way into it... just to look good for............ you.

Yup.... that's the big secret. There. It. Is.

I'd also like to mention, in light of all that.... that it seems as though all the men who like to complain about the hours spent in the bathroom, the money "wasted"... and all these "fake" girls..... are the same men who never once complained about the outcome.

I have yet to meet a man who wanted to b*tch about how long it took to get ready..... then followed it up by "you don't look that good.... what was the 2 hours for?!?"

So.... from this "fake" girl ... maybe you need to let us do our thing, and focus a little more on the man-scaping.

Here's the thing...... You look like a grizzly bear... and you smell like a bar at 2:00 am.